His Coming Shall Be Foretold
This is actually an undoctored picture of a fire at a chemical factory in the Netherlands. It took 150 firefighters to put out the flames, and while the plant burned completely to the ground, no injuries were recorded despite the toxic fumes. Though surrounding citizens were warned to stay inside to avoid possible respiratory infections and rampaging Balrogs.
His Shadow Shall Block the Sky
OK, so it’s actually a picture of a volcanic eruption at Fimmvorduhals in Iceland. But if you don’t think “flames overflowing the Earth, resulting in a dark red cloud blocking out the moon itself” is some sort of portent of the endtimes — then thanks for reading, Azazel of the Thousand Mouths! I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule of raping betrayers to read my stuff. While you’re here, maybe you can click that Facebook share button; I bet Despair and Calthogh the Worm would get a kick out of this shit.
The Earth Shall Bleed
This is a picture of, no shit, a place called Blood Falls in Antarctica. Here’s the actual explanation: “2 million years ago the Taylor Glacier sealed off a small body of water that contained a community of microbes. This small pool of wild animals has not seen oxygen, sunlight or heat since that time. As the earth warmed and the glaciers in Antarctica melted away, these organisms have been independently evolving for eons without any outside contact.
Until now, when they’ve suddenly sprung forth from the glacier. The frothy water is rich in iron, which gives it the striking red color. These strangely alien microbes may exist nowhere else on earth, and they give scientists an idea of what kind of life may survive after the earth becomes uninhabitable by almost all other life forms.”
So, there’s a place called Blood Falls, located on the frozen, cruel and empty continent of Antarctica, that contains strange life forms which have been sealed away for untold ages, and have now awoken and spilled forth onto the world. Oh yeah, and they’ll probably be the last things alive on the planet.
His Servants Are Among Us
This is most likely a common skin condition called a cutaneous horn, which is basically just compacted keratin — the same protein in hair and nails — protruding from the epidermis. If this is indeed a cutaneous horn, they’re often benign and can usually be removed surgically. Though that does not treat the underlying cause, which is either excessive sun exposure to already damaged skin, or the devil coming to live inside the empty shells left behind by suicides.
Beware His Little Messengers
It won’t hurt you at all. It needs you.
It might ask you to hurt others, though. Oh, softly enough at first, in half-heard whispers borne on the wind, but they will grow louder, more frequent and more insistent — until one day you wake up to find yourself in a bathtub filled with liquid that used to be your family. And what will the Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko do? Why, just take a gander at that picture again: It will smile, friends. It will smile.
On a Fiery Steed He Rides
You could cry foul that a manipulated image shouldn’t make the list, hypothetical reader, or you could choose to contemplate the implications of that fact instead. Perhaps evil moves at a different speed than man; perhaps it is a slow and creeping thing. And maybe, if you weren’t so rash, so impulsive — if you could just stop and consider it for one little minute — maybe you could finally trace back its fiery path.
Or hey, maybe it just looks bitchin’ and I’m trying to show you a neat picture. Either way — shut up, hypothetical reader. God, you are being such an ass right now!
In His Unholy House
it scares me 4 sure :(
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nice i like this photo !!!
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